The Second Mumbling

When I first started this blog, the reasons for taking on such a horribly self-indulgent project were pretty clear to me. Yes there is the vanity. And yes there's the totally misjudged encouragement from cyber-friends and peers (I miss you DJ and Trust). But now that I've achieved the main goal of becoming a journalist, what possible reason is there for getting involved in the whole mucky business again? What kind of tortured vanity drives someone to keep a blog going for over two years when the only people visiting the site are spam mongers and sincere but desperately unhinged teenagers from the Middle East? Well its pretty simple:

1. A desperate longing for escape - life has taken a magnificent swing for the better for me over the last year (glad you asked). I've moved to a new city. I'm now getting paid for flogging the morbidly pessimistic ideas I was researching for my thesis. And I no longer cry myself to sleep at night. But still there's the itchy longing to escape from normal adult life. So I suppose by starting a blog up again, I'm aligning myself with that hulking autistic girl in Idaho who so wants to be a sweet little princess that she spends all her time on Second Life, shaking her unfeasibly pert digi-buttocks at other socially starved mongoloids. All we want is a better life for ourselves - Keep dancing sister!

2. Romantic illusions about journalism shattered - a year of peddling economic doom for a magazine is a year well spent in my books. But thats not to say that I enjoy the journalism game nearly as much as I thought I would - chiefly because my actual progress towards being a half way decent writer has been embarrasingly slow. So in an effort not to sap every ounce of enjoyment out of writing, I'm going to use this place to put up my attempts at real writing (fiction, short stories and such). Because I know that, deep down, there is a Harry Potter or a PS I Love You just dieing to leap out onto the page.

3. The constant spectre of Death - finally there's Death; who hasn't gone anywhere since I first posted on him. With the sad passings of Jeremy Beadle and Heath Ledger recently, I'm compelled to record every minute of my life, just to scrape the smallest vestages of consolation from the whole diabolic ordeal. Although I do expect Jeremy Beadle to remerge from Death wearing a silly disguise and presenting us all with a You've Been Framed award sometime in the next few days, its still worth taking account of what such beautiful people contributed to gay cinema, family entertainment and such. Heath and Jeremy - we salute you.